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Help me out here.

Updated: Mar 25, 2023

Helping and being a good "helper" is a topic I've thought about a lot lately. I won't spend my time being negative or beating hypothetically unhelpful people up in this post, but I do feel this is a relatable topic for many out there who may not feel seen or heard when we're navigating challenging situations.

So, I hope this, ahem, helps.

When we think of a helper, we often envision someone who's there to lend a hand, offer support, or provide guidance. In essence, a helper is a person who genuinely cares for others and strives to make a positive impact in their lives. However, when individuals in helping positions don't fulfill their expected roles, it can be disheartening and even damaging. Here, we'll explore the importance of being a true helper, the implications of not living up to expectations, and how we can all strive to simply be better in our daily lives.

  1. The Power of a True Helper: A true helper is someone who not only lends a hand when needed but also invests in the personal growth and well-being of others. By embracing empathy, compassion, and active listening, these people create an environment where others feel supported, valued, and understood. This kind of assistance literally changes lives, giving others the tools and confidence they need to overcome challenges, and achieve their goals. I can't tell you how certain helpers in my life have genuinely impacted my path and journey in ways that I'll never be able to repay. They know who they are, and I'm forever grateful.

  2. The Ripple Effect of Kindness and Support: When helpers consistently show up for others, it creates a ripple effect that extends far beyond the immediate interaction. Those who have been positively impacted by a helper are more likely to pay it forward (it's not just a saying), becoming helpers themselves and perpetuating a cycle of support, encouragement, and kindness. This ripple effect can help build stronger, more resilient communities where people feel empowered to tackle life's obstacles and pursue their dreams. Now, think for a second about a time you were helped, and how that made you feel and act. Pretty damn good, right?

  3. The Consequences of Ineffective Helping: On the other hand, when people in helping positions don't provide the assistance or support they're expected to, it can lead to feelings of disappointment, mistrust, and disillusionment. This can be particularly harmful when it comes to vulnerable individuals who rely heavily on helpers for guidance and reassurance. In some cases, ineffective helping can even exacerbate existing issues or create new ones, leaving people feeling more isolated and helpless than before. If you would, try that thought experiment again, but instead think of a time you needed help but were completely let down. Felt terrible, huh?

  4. The Importance of Self-Awareness and Growth: Recognizing that not all helpers are perfect, it's essential for those in helping positions to continuously strive for self-improvement. This includes actively seeking feedback, reflecting on personal biases and limitations, and staying committed to ongoing education and skill development. By acknowledging areas for growth and working to address them, helpers can become more effective in their roles and better equipped to support those who need them most. This isn't easy. In fact, it can be downright hard at times. We're a stubborn bunch, humans. We don't always like looking in the mirror, let alone someone else holding that mirror up to us! None the less, it's essential in this unending pursuit and process.

  5. Embracing the Helper Within: The beauty of being a helper is that it's not a title reserved only for professionals or those with specialized training. Each of us has the capacity to be a helper in our daily lives, whether it's through small acts of kindness, offering a listening ear, or supporting a friend in need. By embracing the helper within and committing to making a positive impact on those around us, we can create an environment where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. Yes, that sounds like some rose colored glasses stuff, but give it a shot, and report back to me.

Being a true helper means going above and beyond to support, encourage, and empower others in their time of need. While the consequences of not meeting these expectations can be significant, it's important to remember that we all have the potential to be better helpers in our daily lives. By focusing on personal growth and actively embracing the helper within, we can make a lasting impact on the lives of others and inspire a ripple effect of kindness and support that reverberates through our communities.



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